All Buzz and No Sting

I Googled some info about bees in order to understand our resident bee's ridiculous behavior. I found out that the bee in our yard is probably a male carpenter bee. Carpenter bees don't live in colonies. They mate in pairs and live in little tunnels chewed out of wood. The males just buzz around uselessly most of the time and have a short lifespan(that sounds about right). The females are busy doing most of the nest excavation and pollen-collecting(that also sounds about right). The females have stingers but are too busy to fly around menacing people. The males don't have stingers. This means I can chide our bee for being a useless lazy wuss with no stinger. Still, I don't want that stupid-ass thing to fly into my hair, like those idiot Junebugs do. Don't get me started on the Junebugs.

I hope my bee-identification is correct, or else I might end up stung.

Buzz Off

It looks like this is going to be another bad bee year. This bumblebee spent the whole damn day hovering menacingly in our yard. Stop being a pest and go pollinate some flowers, you stupid bee!

I am going to report your stinger to the queen bee if you don't shove off!

I mean it this time! I'm getting the can of Raid, ya little twerp.

I'll Never Grow Up

I need something better to do with my time. For the past few days I've been obsessed with making a Wacky Packages collage for my kitchen.


Mind you, I didn't just stick real genuine Wacky Packages on the canvas. That would be too easy, and it would ruin my beloved Wacky Packages. Instead I scanned the Wacky Packs and saved the images on my PC, printed out copies on glossy photo paper, and carefully cut and pasted them onto the canvas. I just had to emphasize the degree of insanity involved in this project.

Wacky Packages I used: Pillsburied Deadsticks, Jujitsubees, I Can't Believe It's Not Better, Goosey Juice, Easy Cough Oven Cleaner, Cannibal's Shrunken Noodle Soup, Yeti Wip, JIP Peanut Butter, Coca-Cobra, Goon's Farm Wine, Scavenging Bubbles, Philosophical Dream Cheese, BAM Nonstick Spray, Pepto-Dismal, Bloodweiser Beer, Plastic Pickles, Kentucky Fried Fingers, Witch Bone Wench Dressing, Ranters Peanuts, Air Witch Air Freshener, Stickers Candy Bar, Stumblebee Tuna, Frighty Dog Dog Food, Downer Tragic Softener, Gutterball Turkey, Fancy Feet Gory Cat Food, Mutt-Bone Dog Biscuits.

Blah

Not much going on here to comment on. Just...

SNOW!


BORED INSANE CHILDREN!


BORED INSANE CHILDREN COOKING!


CRABBY TINKERBELL BIRTHDAY PARTY!


Calgon, take me away!

Blue(and Gold) Christmas

Nothing says Christmas like going to a RAMS FOOTBALL GAME on Christmas Eve!!

Here's a touching family holiday moment. Me, sister-in-law, and brother-in-law tailgating.

Notice the lack of festive holiday red in the above photo. The Rams were playing the Redskins, so the color red was taboo. That little kid wearing red in the background to the left of me was later hogtied and left in the parking lot. (just kidding!)

My poor hubby is suffering from the effects of blinding sunlight right in the face without sunglasses:

Surprisingly, the Rams managed to win in overtime! Merry freaking Christmas St. Louis!

Happy Holidays to Everybody!

If anyone reads this blog besides myself, I wish you Happy Holidays!

I didn't know Daffy Duck changed color and defected to Disney!


Daffy looks happy amongst his new Disney friends(minus Mickey and Huey, who are being glued back together right now):

Johnny Sokko Kicks Total Ass

When I was a kid, I was half girly-girl and half tomboy. I loved Barbies and baby dolls and all that jazz, but I also loved the toys and TV shows geared towards boys since I had two older brothers and NO sisters. A few days ago I was kicking around Amazon.com looking for ways to spend more money. Lo and behold, they have downloadable Johnny Sokko episodes!

For people with short attention spans such as myself, Johnny Sokko is like a Cliff's Notes version of a Godzilla movie. Each episode features an interesting uncomplicated plot with no long boring scenes full of useless dialogue. They only have about 22 minutes per episode to kick ass, so they get busy rather quickly. Behold:

Kickass Flying Robot controlled by Johnny Sokko's wristwatch

Evil villains looking like Japanese Nazi Che Guevaras

Damn, they shoot children on this show!

Bryanboy! Shame on you for shooting Johnny!

Johnny's hot partner calls for help with his ballpoint pen

Now **this** is a kickass monster! Giant Flying Eyeball, WooHoo!

Why do my pancakes always turn out looking like this?

Wait, isn't that the Hindenburg? No! It's Emperor Guillotine's spaceship. It blowed up REAL GOOD!

The bad guy always morphs into a giant monster near the end of the show. Then the Robot kicks its ass.

Giant Robot decides to fly this ugly bastard off to crash into a meteor, never to return.

WAAAAAAAH! Come back giant robot(hey, wasn't this kid shot earlier in the episode?)!

Well that's the end of the whole series. Sorry I spoiled the ending for you!