Curtain Call Firework

Youtube of July 4th Explosion

Pimp Number One

Dang, I haven't had anything to blog about for two freaking years! What the hell?! I blog about fun shit that comes along in my life, has it really been that long that there's been no fun shit?

The following pic is from the gas pump today, in beautiful tranquil South St. Louis, on Gravois Avenue between Gustine and Meramec.

It's Calgon Time!

I'm so glad that it's Back to School time for my two chilluns. WooHoo, I'm free! Free I tell ya! Hours and hours of peace! Ahhhhhh, relief from the hijinks. For your viewing pleasure... Summertime Kiddie Boredom Art:

Eucerin Cream on the kitchen table.

Refrigerator doors tied shut with my measuring tape. Is that a subtle jab at my fluctuating weight?

Unauthorized creative photography with mom's camera.

Cyclops Is Watching You

Cruel Summer

This summer started off badly and got a lot worse. To make a really long story short: my oldest brother, David, died June 30th from ALS(Lou Gehrig's Disease) and diabetes. He was 50. We last visited him for a few days at the end of May. We didn't get any word that he had died until July 5th. *Sigh*--it's a long story.

I thought about putting a picture of him in this blog entry but I get choked up looking at the pictures. Nope, not gonna happen. Maybe later.

RIP David A. Grant(Sept. 14th, 1956-June 30th, 2007).

Here's hoping the rest of our summer is fun and peaceful. I wish I had this in my backyard right about now:

All Buzz and No Sting

I Googled some info about bees in order to understand our resident bee's ridiculous behavior. I found out that the bee in our yard is probably a male carpenter bee. Carpenter bees don't live in colonies. They mate in pairs and live in little tunnels chewed out of wood. The males just buzz around uselessly most of the time and have a short lifespan(that sounds about right). The females are busy doing most of the nest excavation and pollen-collecting(that also sounds about right). The females have stingers but are too busy to fly around menacing people. The males don't have stingers. This means I can chide our bee for being a useless lazy wuss with no stinger. Still, I don't want that stupid-ass thing to fly into my hair, like those idiot Junebugs do. Don't get me started on the Junebugs.

I hope my bee-identification is correct, or else I might end up stung.

Buzz Off

It looks like this is going to be another bad bee year. This bumblebee spent the whole damn day hovering menacingly in our yard. Stop being a pest and go pollinate some flowers, you stupid bee!

I am going to report your stinger to the queen bee if you don't shove off!

I mean it this time! I'm getting the can of Raid, ya little twerp.

I'll Never Grow Up

I need something better to do with my time. For the past few days I've been obsessed with making a Wacky Packages collage for my kitchen.


Mind you, I didn't just stick real genuine Wacky Packages on the canvas. That would be too easy, and it would ruin my beloved Wacky Packages. Instead I scanned the Wacky Packs and saved the images on my PC, printed out copies on glossy photo paper, and carefully cut and pasted them onto the canvas. I just had to emphasize the degree of insanity involved in this project.

Wacky Packages I used: Pillsburied Deadsticks, Jujitsubees, I Can't Believe It's Not Better, Goosey Juice, Easy Cough Oven Cleaner, Cannibal's Shrunken Noodle Soup, Yeti Wip, JIP Peanut Butter, Coca-Cobra, Goon's Farm Wine, Scavenging Bubbles, Philosophical Dream Cheese, BAM Nonstick Spray, Pepto-Dismal, Bloodweiser Beer, Plastic Pickles, Kentucky Fried Fingers, Witch Bone Wench Dressing, Ranters Peanuts, Air Witch Air Freshener, Stickers Candy Bar, Stumblebee Tuna, Frighty Dog Dog Food, Downer Tragic Softener, Gutterball Turkey, Fancy Feet Gory Cat Food, Mutt-Bone Dog Biscuits.