We're Number One! We're Number One!

WOOHOO!! Not only can we celebrate the fact that our St. Louis Cardinals are the World Series Champions, The city of St. Louis has been deemed The Most Dangerous City in the Entire United States. Detroit was ranked number two. Ha! We beat Detroit again! We're BADASS!

Paula Does California: The Final Chapter

Here's another picture from Nelson's live show. He is chatting with the leggy Alexandra Paul from Baywatch fame.She wouldn't dish up any dirt about her Baywatch costar, "The Hoff", aka David Hasselhoff. C'mon Alexandra! Throw us a bone!

Ahhh, Venice Beach! Too bad we ended up getting a parking ticket. It was street cleaning day, so our primo parking spot was not so primo.

One day I got adventurous and drove down to Laguna Niguel to see my hubby's aunt. Her house has the most fabulous patio. Her BBQ grill/pit thingie had to be set into her yard via a crane because it couldn't get through any other way:

More patio:

Her chihuahua gave me the stinkeye the entire time I was there. If that dog was bigger, I really would've been afraid for my well being:

The view from the Wind and Sea Restaurant at Dana Point:

Obsolete Destruction

I really can't get mad at my three-year-old for destroying this Social Distortion cassette tape. I can't remember the last time I listened to a cassette of any musical persuasion. Nowadays I can just fire up Social Distortion on my iPod(as long as I make sure my evil child doesn't marinate my iPod in the toilet first).

Paula Does California: Part 2

After the Petersen Auto Museum, I was chauffeured around Hollywood to see the sights. The weirdest thing I saw was a truck pulling a trailer with a llama in it going down Hollywood Blvd.
Later in front of the Chinese Theater I saw Anorexic Minnie and Botox Mickey chatting up a Funkadelic Sista who was waiting for the Mothership:

Then I got a rental car and picked up my crazy aunt to go to Nelson Aspen's "Wake Up With Nelson!" cabaret show. We had a fabulous time. His show was a hoot! Nelson is such a sweetie pie and has a fabulous singing voice. I asked my crazy aunt to take a picture of Nelson and me... here's attempt #1:

The second attempt was slightly more successful. Nelson is doing his best AbFab pout, and I'm looking like a dead bloated corpse. Oh well, what can I say? I live in Missouri, not California! And the picture was taken at a "bad" angle(that's what I keep telling myself):

Nelson never takes a bad picture. I am good at looking DEAD. I can be myself for Halloween this year:

Now THIS is a fantastic picture of my Aunt Donna and Nelson because I am the one that took it!

After the show, my aunt provided NO HELP WHATSOEVER when I needed driving directions. I made some right turns and needed to get back on La Cienega but somehow we couldn't find it. All she could say was "Oh I used to work in that AT&T building blahblahblah and over there is the blahblahblah building" Then when we did get to La Cienega she says right at the last second "THERE'S LA CIENEGA! WHY DIDN'T YOU TURN THERE?" Uh, auntie, you're the one that used to work around here, help me out! FocusFocusFocus! I laugh about it now...

What Are They Smoking Down At The Firehouse?

My Kindergartener went on a field trip to the neighborhood firehouse today. Did they learn about "Stop, Drop and Roll?" Did they learn about crawling on the floor when escaping a burning building, feeling closed doors for heat, etc? Ummm, well... My daughter brought home a coloring book, the cover of which is scanned(poorly) below:

Don't worry about fire safety, kids! Sprinklerman will always be there to put out the fire! Yeah, right.

That picture is just... just... well...

Coming soon... "Paula Does California Part 2".

Paula Does California: Part 1

So I didn't perish in an airplane crash like I thought I would. I made it to California and back in one piece. The first touristy thing I did after arriving in LA was go to the Petersen Automotive Museum. I was hoping that Squad 51 from Emergency! would still be on display, but NOOOOOO! NO Squad 51! I was wailing in agony. I'm sure the Petersen personnel were ready to investigate my mournful cries which were carrying through the entire building. BUT!! I got to see the Batmobile:

And the Mach 5:

And Herbie the Love Bug:

And the Hannibal 8 from The Great Race:

What I still want to know is: Squad 51, where are you?!!