Obsolete Destruction

I really can't get mad at my three-year-old for destroying this Social Distortion cassette tape. I can't remember the last time I listened to a cassette of any musical persuasion. Nowadays I can just fire up Social Distortion on my iPod(as long as I make sure my evil child doesn't marinate my iPod in the toilet first).

Paula Does California: Part 2

After the Petersen Auto Museum, I was chauffeured around Hollywood to see the sights. The weirdest thing I saw was a truck pulling a trailer with a llama in it going down Hollywood Blvd.
Later in front of the Chinese Theater I saw Anorexic Minnie and Botox Mickey chatting up a Funkadelic Sista who was waiting for the Mothership:

Then I got a rental car and picked up my crazy aunt to go to Nelson Aspen's "Wake Up With Nelson!" cabaret show. We had a fabulous time. His show was a hoot! Nelson is such a sweetie pie and has a fabulous singing voice. I asked my crazy aunt to take a picture of Nelson and me... here's attempt #1:

The second attempt was slightly more successful. Nelson is doing his best AbFab pout, and I'm looking like a dead bloated corpse. Oh well, what can I say? I live in Missouri, not California! And the picture was taken at a "bad" angle(that's what I keep telling myself):

Nelson never takes a bad picture. I am good at looking DEAD. I can be myself for Halloween this year:

Now THIS is a fantastic picture of my Aunt Donna and Nelson because I am the one that took it!

After the show, my aunt provided NO HELP WHATSOEVER when I needed driving directions. I made some right turns and needed to get back on La Cienega but somehow we couldn't find it. All she could say was "Oh I used to work in that AT&T building blahblahblah and over there is the blahblahblah building" Then when we did get to La Cienega she says right at the last second "THERE'S LA CIENEGA! WHY DIDN'T YOU TURN THERE?" Uh, auntie, you're the one that used to work around here, help me out! FocusFocusFocus! I laugh about it now...

What Are They Smoking Down At The Firehouse?

My Kindergartener went on a field trip to the neighborhood firehouse today. Did they learn about "Stop, Drop and Roll?" Did they learn about crawling on the floor when escaping a burning building, feeling closed doors for heat, etc? Ummm, well... My daughter brought home a coloring book, the cover of which is scanned(poorly) below:

Don't worry about fire safety, kids! Sprinklerman will always be there to put out the fire! Yeah, right.

That picture is just... just... well...

Coming soon... "Paula Does California Part 2".

Paula Does California: Part 1

So I didn't perish in an airplane crash like I thought I would. I made it to California and back in one piece. The first touristy thing I did after arriving in LA was go to the Petersen Automotive Museum. I was hoping that Squad 51 from Emergency! would still be on display, but NOOOOOO! NO Squad 51! I was wailing in agony. I'm sure the Petersen personnel were ready to investigate my mournful cries which were carrying through the entire building. BUT!! I got to see the Batmobile:

And the Mach 5:

And Herbie the Love Bug:

And the Hannibal 8 from The Great Race:

What I still want to know is: Squad 51, where are you?!!

Da Plane, Da Plane

I'm getting on a plane this afternoon, heading to LA for some fun. YAY! But I am really not thrilled about flying there. Back when I was young and thought I was immortal, I loved air travel. Nowadays I think I qualify as air travel-phobic. If my plane crashes, just know that my last words were probably IT JUST FIGURES!

I've Lost the Will to Live

Ack, look at my stove and countertop! WAAAH I don't wanna clean that up! My three-year-old daughter wreaked this havoc on my cooking surfaces. Obviously I am a lousy mother who can't watch her kids properly. At least this orange nightmare smelled nice. It consists of Penzey's Taco Seasoning, dried minced garlic, and coarse salt. My husband said I should've re-bottled it and sold it as Paula's Special Taco Seasoning Blend.

Here's an oldie but goodie from 2003, courtesy of my oldest daughter. Mini Fudge Stripes Cookies stuck to the hallway wall:















Mmm-mmm-mmm! Just peel one off the wall and enjoy!

It's All My Doing!

I think my recent imbibing of Cuba Libres during our nearly four-day power outage is why Fidel Castro has passed his Cuban power mojo to his hermanito Raul(supposedly temporarily, yeah right!) while he has surgery for some kind of intestinal problemos. WooHoo! Now I have an excuse to get out the rum bottle and limes again and try to finish him off. Cuba Libre!